Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
