The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
