I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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