i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
