I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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