Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
