I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My bed smells like the plague
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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