And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
