New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
