I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
As shirtless as possible
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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