Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize