id be glad to
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
