***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
3 2 1 whiskey
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
