they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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