she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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