Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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