Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
