wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
