i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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