I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
