No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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