How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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