I'm really into asian looking animals
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
