Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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