I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Congratulations! We have a period
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