Tell her she can't have a vagina
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
