i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
