I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My nipple is on Facebook.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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