I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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