Already got asked if we're dating
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
