No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
