Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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