i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
