i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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