I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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