I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
