Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
