I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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