whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
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He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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