why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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