Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
