I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
