just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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