I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize