i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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