In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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