I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
