I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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