Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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