Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize