She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
