so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
