I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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