he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
