He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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