Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
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I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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