Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
