as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
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