what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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