the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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