bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
