Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!