Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend