Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants