can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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